Expert answer:I have a research, it needs to be revised, and one

  

Solved by verified expert:Hi, I want someone to revise a 5 pages researchI have the instructor rubric that have the details that needs to be revisedI already revised the biblioghraphy.I need a new word document that has at least 300 words, basically a “memo” about the changes, what I changed and did it affect on my writing or not, things like that. please add bullet points, about the strength and weakness this will help a lot.
albassam__nawaf__ffn_exploratory_research_paper_rubric.pdf

castles_research.docx

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NAWAF-
EXPLORATORY RESEARCH PAPER FEEDBACK
This rubric should give you ideas about how to prioritize your revisions for the exploratory
research paper. At this stage it’s tough for me to know if you haven’t done something because
you didn’t understand it or because you didn’t get to it. Therefore, if you have any questions
about why marks are where they are, you are more than welcome to discuss it with me in
person or take these documents to the WVU Writing Center.
Here is an explanation of the different columns:
Focus for Revision​ — A check mark in this column means that this component needs
significant attention aimed at improvement and polish. If you’re uncertain of how to
improve you can always review your notes, talk to the instructor, or meet with a peer
consultant in the Writing Center.
Discussion​ — A check mark in this column means that this component is good enough
for us to discuss what it is and how it works. Components with check marks in this
column will still benefit from additional thought and revision.
Professional​ — A check mark in this column means that this component is a strength of
the essay. It may not require significant revision or additional thought, but it may still
need some minor polishing and attention to detail to make it ready for the portfolio.
Professional
Title
The title is engaging, appropriate, and
forecasts the content of the essay.
The Introduction
The introduction grabs the reader’s
interest, provides enough context to tell
the reader what he or she will be
reading about, and frames​ a clear
thesis that answers the primary
research question.
Good, but could be
more creative.
The introduction is
thorough, but make
sure the thesis
presents a unique
perspective/argument.
The research is
detailed, but make
sure to cite any facts
that are from an
outside source. For
in-text citations, just
include last name &
page number, if there
is one.
The Research
The essay contains in-text references to
at least three credible sources​. All
research is integrated appropriately as
evidence for your claims. All references
adhere to MLA standards for in-text
citation.
Arrangement
The essay is organized coherently with
a natural progression that helps to
reinforce the thesis. Sub-headings are
acceptable.
The Stakeholders
Discussion
Clear
organization.
There’s some hinting
at various
Focus
for
Revision
Not Done
NAWAF-
EXPLORATORY RESEARCH PAPER FEEDBACK
The essay describes multiple
stakeholders, their points of view, and
deals with opposing viewpoints
respectfully and effectively.
The Conclusion
The conclusion employs one of these
strategies: summarizes the argument
briefly, elaborates on the implications of
your thesis, makes clear what you want
readers to think and do, or makes a
strong ethical or emotional appeal in a
memorable way.
Voice
The tone of the essay strikes a balance
between demonstrating your
personality, avoiding stuffy language,
and conveying professionalism.
Form, Surface Features, and
Proofreading
The essay includes no errors in
grammar or punctuation. The essay is
also formatted according to MLA
standards including font, font size, and
page numbers.
stakeholders–the
soliders, etc.–but
maybe also mention
about a current
stakeholder who might
have an interest.
The
conclusion
summarizes
the essay.
Good,
academic
voice.
Some errors,
but nothing
distracting to
the reader.
Pretty good! Make
sure it is in
alphabetical order &
indented on the
second line after each
new citation.
Works Cited
The essay includes a works cited page
that is properly formatted using MLA
guidelines.
Length
The essay is about five-six pages in
length (i.e. 1,500 to 1,800 words).

In addition to the rubric, my notes include one or two big things that I think you need to focus on:
Nawaf,
This research paper has a consistent, academic-sounding voice throughout. It covers a variety
of different castle defense techniques in a clear arrangement. The subheadings were definitely
a good idea for this topic.
One big thing to focus on is making sure that there is some sort of “argument” to the essay. The
research paper can certainly be more academic or historical–as yours is–but it still needs to
have a unique perspective on the topic. You hint at in the conclusion with the sentence:
“Although castles have endured through time, their beauty is a reminder of the intrigues of war,
power, and politics of the medieval period.” Bring more of that argument into the end of the
introduction. It seems as if your paper is “arguing” that although people may only value castles
NAWAF-
EXPLORATORY RESEARCH PAPER FEEDBACK
now for their architectural beauty, they actually were a means of defense when they were
created.
Also, the essay hints at potential stakeholders, but perhaps also consider a present-day
stakeholder. Why is this topic important for someone in the current times?
Overall, the draft is a solid piece of writing. It just needs more consideration for the “argument”
part of it. Nice job!
A 1
N
J
025
4/13/18
Tools Used to Defend Castles
Introduction
The medieval castles are grand examples of human ingenuity. The castles were homes for
the nobles in the medieval times. They were also used strategically to defend territory and
provide supplies during the war. While castles are beautiful and impressive structures, they were
mainly created for defense and guarded by well-trained armies. Therefore, castles served the
purpose of most of the medieval leaders who would do everything to safeguard their legacy and
territorial claim during their reign (Liddiard). Given that castles were frequently targeted during
attacks by different barons and kings, defenders had to devise ingenious ways of keeping
attackers outside the castle walls. They were constructed differently depending on the location.
Some were built on hills while others on islands. Some of the features which made the castles
unique included; the curtain walls, towers, turrets, gatehouse, look out points, Barbican and the
drawbridge. Although the castle walls and structures were strong and defensive in nature, castle
defenders used tools such as ballista, crossbows, long arrows, gunpowder, biological weapons
and boiling water to keep invaders from breaching the castle walls.
Cross Bows and Long longbows
Archers were prized in castle defenses since they could hit enemies from long instances.
In the earlier medieval periods, longbows with lighter arrows were used to defend castles from
invaders. However, as technology advanced, crossbows became a choice weapon for castle
A 2
defenders. They were accurate and powerful, having the capability to shoot bolts up to 400
meters away with great precision. They were often shot through small slits on the castle walls.
Arrows varied with some having flames to burn siege towers.
Ballista
The ballista was the most common tool used by many soldiers in defending the castle.
This tool was also referred to as the catapult. They used burning stones that were positioned on
square or cylindrical towers that would push the stones with force towards the invading group.
The stones were large enough to destroy large groups of people before they were able to reach an
attacking range. However, this tool had its shortcomings. For instance, it could take a longer
period to prepare and position the stones on the towers before they were fired. According to
Levin (523), this was dangerous because it gave the enemy the time shield themselves and come
up with other strategies of invading the castle.
Biological weapons
The defending army could do anything to protect the castle. They invented multiple
techniques which were very harmful to their enemies. The formation of the biological weapons
required the invention of experts who were well trained to deal with specific biological concepts.
It was mainly to avoid causing infections in their own army. The biological techniques ranged
from simple methods to more complex methods which caused extensive damage to the invaders.
For example, they could plant poisonous plant at strategic locations which could not be easily
identified by their nemeses. Additionally, they could spread or rather catapult diseased animals
to the direction of the invading group to help spread the disease to them. They placed traps
strategically to give them a clue on the direction in which the invaders were coming from for
them to be able to catapult the dead animals towards the correct direction.
A 3
Boiling water
The warriors could use the hot boiling water to burn and scare the invaders away. This
tactic was more operational when the trespassers were unaware of the ambush than when they
are fully prepared for such as attack on them. However, this was not the best method due to
various dynamics. Firstly, it was very difficult to get the boiling water in time. The procedure of
getting the water was long and it was only effective in the case where the defenders were
prepared for an attack which was expected to occur (Wagner et al. 32). Also, it was a risky
method because of the accidents connected to it. It is worth noting that in some cases the
defending crew could burn themselves accidentally as they rush to attack the raiders.
Long arrows
The long arrows and swords were also used by the front line guards to fight the invaders
at a closer range on the battlefield. In many cases, they used poisonous arrows to limit the
chances of survival. These tools were used when the invaders were very close to the castle and
proving to be a major threat to the protected occupants of the castles. The battlefields were very
dangerous because any person could die in these battles. According to Joaquin, the fact that the
chances of survival were limited in wars depicts the vulnerability of using these types of
weapons. They were not the best because survival of the fighting crew largely depended on their
individual fighting skills (Cairns 12). Evidently, the groups of soldiers who were not trained
properly to fight on the battlefields could be defeated. Furthermore, the success in these types of
wars relied on the number of the fighting armies. The defending lot was expected to have enough
army of men who were capable of squeezing the threat, irrespective of the milestones that they
encountered.
A 4
Gun Powder
The invention of the gun powered gave these groups of soldiers the much-desired
fighting force during the medieval epoch. This weapon was detrimental and it enabled many
army forces to conquer their enemies with ease. They used heavy machinery to fire the powder
towards their enemies, causing destruction that could not be easily measured. These tools were
preferred by many and those who used them during the war were successful in many occasions
in their missions, especially in cases where their enemies were not equipped with the gunpowder.
The gun powered was arguably the best weapon in defending the castles. This notion openly
depicts the reason why many leaders strived to acquire the associated tools which were used with
the gunpowder.
Countermeasures against the Tools used for Castle Defense
A siege on a castle takes careful planning, lots of resources, and diversion techniques for
weakening the defense systems. One of the countermeasures used by attacking forces during
medieval periods to prevent the impact of the long arrows, gunpowder, and ballista on their
advancement is the siege towers of belfries. According to Spencer siege towers compensate for
the weaknesses of the ladder during the offensive despite the labor cost and time required to
build the platform. Also, it is a useful platform for launching counterattacks against the defenders
of the castle regardless of the weapons or tools used by them. As the attack from the siege towers
results in the death of the defenders, so is the weakening of the strengths of the castle against
sustained attacks from the siege tower. The siege tower is one of the tools that contributed to the
victories of opposing forces on several battlefronts during the period.
Meanwhile, the cost labor and time required for constructing a siege tower that would
allow the opposing forces to get over the wall might make it inappropriate for some armies and
A 5
battles. Therefore, the getting through the wall approach becomes the next opposition to attack
the castle. The preferred weapons for this type of attack include missile throwing machines,
battering rams, early cannon, which are all targeted at the weakest point of the castle. In this
context, the objective of the attackers is to force their way through the wall by creating a large
hole in the defense system, especially through the strength of the straightened tree trunk used for
making the battering rams. While the common method for launching the battering ram at the
gateway of the castle is the use of the momentum formed by large groups of men to charge at the
defense mechanism, the attack tool can be placed in a portable building that protects it from the
fire that could be caused by the gunpowder and ballista. Also, fresh hides are placed on the roof
to protect the group of men that would apply the rhythmical swing to the gateway.
Conclusion
In summary, protecting castles was of strategic economic and political importance of the
cities that constitute the kingdoms during the medieval era. All the planning and meeting of the
leader of the armies are designed to identify the weakest point of the structure that can be used as
launching platforms for attack because the invaders would gain an advantage when they overrun
defense systems of the castle. Therefore, the defending armies were expected to be effective and
prepared for war at all times throughout the regime to defend the interests of their nobles, lords,
and kings. Although castles have endured through time, their beauty is a reminder of the
intrigues of war, power, and politics of the medieval period. Finally, they are architectural
masterpieces that served as the centers for the formulation of military strategies and creation of
weapons and tools that highlighted the strengths and tactics of the armies.
A 6
Works cited
Bennett, Matthew. The Hutchinson Dictionary of Ancient & Medieval Warfare. Taylor &
Francis, 1998.
Cairns, Conrad. Medieval Castles. Lerner Publications, 1989.
James, and McDonald. “Medieval Warfare.” Castles and Manor Houses, 1 Oct. 2010,
www.medievalwarfare.info/.
Joaquin, David. “Castle Defenses.” Everything about the dark ages. (2014). Available at:
http://medieval-castles.org/index.php/castle_defenses
Kellaway, S. (2012), ‘The Ballista’. Retrieved from http://medievallifestyle.com/siegeengines/ballista.html
Levin, Benjamin. “A Defensible Defense: Reexamining Castle Doctrine Statutes.” Harv. J. on
Legis. 47 (2010): 523.
Liddiard, Robert. Late Medieval Castles. New York: Boydell Press, 2016Macaulay, David.
Castle. Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1981. Print.
Macaulay, David, et al. Castle. Houghton Mifflin Company, 1977.
Ramsey, Syed. Tools of War: History of Weapons in Ancient Times. Vij Books India Pvt Ltd,
2016.
Sisteen. (2017), ‘Defending a Castle in the Middle Ages’. Retrieved from
http://www.lordsandladies.org/defending-a-castle-in-the-middle-ages.htm
A 7
Spencer, Dan. “‘The Scourge of the Stones’: English Gunpowder Artillery at the Siege of
Harfleur.” Journal of Medieval History, vol. 43, no. 1, 2017, pp. 59–7
Trueman, C. (2015), ‘The longbow’. Retrieved from

The Longbow


Wagner, Eduard, Zoroslava Drobná, and Jan Durdík. Medieval Costume, Armour and Weapons.
Boston: Courier Corporation, 2014.

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